midrashist (midrashist) wrote in anarcholandlord,
midrashist
midrashist
anarcholandlord

insisting housemate leave today

I kind of hate to, she may well end up in a shelter.  But I also feel like letting her stay and drink (silently) is enabling her.  She hasn't paid in months.  Quits the jobs she acquires and is evasive about reality.   Unfortunately I like her otherwise.  But I have also begun to resent that I have to be responsible for things, she can just hole up.  I don't want to feel like a social worker or an enforcer in my own home.  I find worrying about whether she's (marginally) o.k. or getting better or worse is unacceptably adding to my own stresses.  I have enough people who depend on me for something; I do not want to take on one who isn't helping themselves.
But i do hate to be the bad guy.  (I wouldn't have let it go on so long otherwise.)  If she cooked (she has foodstamps), took out the garbage, swept the stairs, raked leaves.  Gone out and tutored kids with worse lives then she ever had.  Something. 
Why should I try harder to make something workable if she isn't? 
As one of my more blunt friends said about a previous housemate: "this is NOT assisted living."
Nonetheless, I hate the situation.

And yes, if you have any stable, adult people who have their lives together you can refer them to me.  Especially activists or gardeners.  But maybe not until I've recovered for a few months.  I'm normally quite adaptable and flexible.
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